Howard's Reflections from Whitehorse, Yukon.

From Whitehorse:


What an experience the past few weeks with Imi has been, one that way surpassed my expectations in so many dimensions…., but one that also humbled me in many ways.
I remember back to the first day on Lake Lebarge, when I realized that we really didn’t know each other, and how a huge, and how a huge amount could go wrong in the next two weeks. With the trip now behind us, I can honestly say that I can’t think of anything that went wrong, and how everything went right. There was a wonderful chemistry fit, a unique life experience diversity, yet overlap, a river skill fit, and a common outdoor adventure ethic. It may come as a shock and a surprise to many, but neither of us used an inch of toilet paper, not a milligram of soap on the trip, making us the most eco friendly expedition on the river! As testimony to our common approach, this was just the way we both chose to go, it was the natural thing to do… There were no questions asked! Our views on life and philosophy were sometimes so aligned I thought I’d found my very, unlikely, twin. (Now that’s a scary thought!) There were other times where our views clashed but even in the hours of passionate debate we never got angry, nor felt threatened, and to me Imi was a caring equal, like me enjoying the free, open and yet caring debates. Paddling time on the river was never a chore, some days we spent 8 hours paddling, and I never heard Imi ask for a break, say he was tired, or indicate he wasn’t enjoying it. The paddling was so natural to both of us, it was often the source of meditation in between the passionate debates. Somehow we were both so in tune with each other on when we wanted alone time, and when we wanted team time, this was so liberating in its naturalness. There was this serene feeling of equality, in what many would think would have been a very unequal, carer / patient type relationship.

Well, I sit here in Whitehorse, reflecting on the truly special experience of the past few weeks. A day back in civilization, walking the streets of Whitehorse and dealing with the complexities of urban life, has made me understand some of what Imi talks about in his post below. It is very humbling stuff, and has made me feel so unappreciative of my ‘normal’ life, and the options, freedom, and autonomy it provides. What would Imi, give to have those back…? But, having spent all this time with him, I realize he doesn’t look there, he looks for what he has got, and only looks for contentment within that…..
I can see how these suburban complexities, have changed his life, his sense of freedom, and oneness with nature and the outdoor environment, that we experienced on the river. Even for me, this abrupt change is always difficult to deal with, and over the past seven years I have tried to create a life where the outdoors are normal life, and the cities and ‘civilisation’ are the holidays and excursions. But the extent of this lifestyle change for me fades into significance as I see the huge, and scary day to day life challenges it poses for Imi.
There was a quantum and almost instant reduction of his mobility as we took our first steps into Dawson City. I sensed it straight away, and had it affected our relationship, we went from a sense of team oneness with nature and the environment to one where we both felt so clumsy and I had this helpless inside me, as I struggled for my own re-entry survival, but felt deeply responsible for Imi’s re-entry and loss of immobility. Imi, being the ultimate seeker of self sufficiency tried to help me not feel his pain, but it was extremely hard, and made me feel pretty sad. The city had made us lose our equality, and somehow I could see that the city not only held no value for Imi, but created negative value, yet here I was as a sighted person desiring to explore the many visual attractions it offered. I was forced to go into his world and think about what it would be like to be a blind person in a foreign town, on my own without a guide? Hmmm, that was scary, so scary in fact I tried to deny that anyone could live with that restraint. I could see that a new urban environment for someone like Imi, can quickly become a lonely dungeon, full of traps and hazards, but empty of meaning and purpose. The river provided exactly the opposite, and I was seeing the huge chasm with my own eyes and Imi’s experience in a new town, when virtually all the exploring is visual based. The value in life was limited to trusted human contact, or trying to find a sanctuary of alone peace somewhere in the city.
On the river, Imi and I had discussed for many hours the concept of an Inner Life, and how important it is that we all have an inner life, as distinct from one that depends on others, and other things. Having spent a lot of alone time myself, I understand the need and value of this Inner Life, but here in Dawson, I saw how critical it is for a blind person to have a strongly anchored, content, inner life. Imi’ shared with me that he spends a huge amount of time in his inner life, and finds huge peace, spirituality, and self actualization within it. I wonder how many of us, have this strong inner life? In my solo travels, I have met many who have openly stated their fear being alone, yet without being alone one cannot create an inner life. Modern society, and the continual striving for social interaction and belonging seems to provide so many opportunities for external distraction that allow us to avoid the need to build this inner life. As I spoke through all this with Imi, both on the river and in Dawson, I sensed that through his strong inner life, he has a deep sense of personal power that provides contentment in the seemingly vacant, black, vision less, dungeon. Many judge those who seek to be spend a lot of time alone as weirdoes or people missing something, but in my solo pursuits, and Imi’s inner life example, I wonder whether those lacking an inner life, and not desiring of time alone, rather seeking life’s distractions are actually the weirdoes and those missing something?? Being with Imi, and seeing how he deals with his disability seems to confirm the latter…….
Lastly, in adventure we were able to come together as equals, and in the inspiring, simple, and yet challenging environment Nature provided, we two, significantly different, virtual strangers were able to come together closer than most ever get, and become unlikely equal partners. Sadly, this was only possible in Nature and the wilderness though, and the challenge to extend this experience to others and to broader horizons is what I take away from Whitehorse……

Thank you for your support, we both really valued it, and hope you take away at least one small thought of value to your own lives.

Till my next adventure….see ya!

Howard